Luke and Kennels
by Cafire
Summary: When Paul Anka is traumatised after staying at a kennels, Luke tries to make things right again. Based on a true story. ONESHOT


**A/N:** This is my first Gilmore Girls story, it's one of my favourite shows but I don't think I've done it justice. So this is based on a true story I heard, except it was a cat. Anyway I thought it would be such a typical situation that would happen on Gilmore Girls so I adapted and voila! I don't know if Wal-Mart has own brand kibble or anything but if there are any cultural inconsistencies please let me know!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gilmore Girls, Amy Sherman-Palladino does, all hail her genius!

* * *

**Luke and Kennels**

"But Paul Anka doesn't like kennels! He gets all freaked out by other dogs. And what if the cat next door bullies him? And I bet they'll just use generic brand kibble! The poor guy will starve!" poor Lorelai was nearly in hysterics at the thought of leaving Paul Anka in a kennel for the weekend while herself and Luke went to visit Rory.

"I'm sure he'll be ok. Anyway all kibble tasted the same", Luke tried to reassure Lorelai. Without success.

"Ah, that's where you're wrong my friend. Wal-Mart's own brand has a distinctly nutty taste, while Pedigree is more meaty", said Lorelai giving Luke a look daring him to defy.

Not wanting to know but still he had to ask, "How do you know that?" almost dreading the answer.

"Kirk told me. Whether he actually tasted them is beside the point, all I know is that Paul Anka will only eat Pedigree kibble", answered Lorelai.

"Well then we'll bring some Pedigree kibble so the kennel people can feed him that", offered Luke.

"Yes, but then the other dogs will pick on him for being special!", cried Lorelai.

With a sigh Luke just pushed his protesting fiancée towards the waiting truck was parked with Paul Anka sitting in it.

* * *

The parting scene was very traumatic for both Lorelai and Paul Anka, and exasperating for Luke. Eventually they left to see Rory.

Two days later they returned, only to find a traumatised Paul Anka cowering at the bottom of the enclosure.

"See! This is what happens when I leave him at kennels. He won't be the same for ages! My poor Paul Anka! Was it Buster next door? If it was I can cut off his water supply…" Lorelai was already sizing up the tubing going into Buster's enclosure.

"Hold on. You are not going to dehydrate Buster," interjected Luke hastily, "I'm sure Paul Anka just missed you."

"Huh. You had better be right, or else I'm coming back for Buster," said Lorelai as she shot Buster a threatening look.

As they left Luke could have sworn he saw Buster cower.

* * *

A few days later Paul Anka had not recovered, and as result Lorelai was upset. And to have an unhappy Gilmore girl was the last thing Luke wanted. So he had to resort to something that practically made his skin crawl. He asked Taylor for help.

"So do I have a case? I mean, can I sue them for traumatising Paul Anka?" asked Luke already dreading the lawyers he might have to endure.

"Oh yes, Lucas you have a very strong case although I would advise you to ring the kennels first see if you can settle outside of court. Court cases can be so tedious," answered Taylor.

Liking the idea of avoiding the courts and the ensuing lawyers Luke decided to ring the kennels. Anything to placate Lorelai.

* * *

"Hello Hartford Kennels. The animal vacation location. This is Amy speaking, how may I help you today?", a very chirpy and cheerful Amy said down the phone.

Luke grimaced at the sound, "Hello, my name's Luke Danes. I'm can I speak to the manager please?"

"That's me Mr. Danes. How my I help you?" came Amy's chirpy voice.

"You're the… never mind. My fiancée left her dog, Paul Anka, with you a week or so ago. It was under the name of Lorelai Gilmore," said Luke in his short, precise way.

"Oh, yes the polish lowland sheepdog. He was a doll. What seems to be the problem", Amy asked.

"Well he has been traumatised. He has barely touched a shoe since he got home and he's not eating his kibble. And so Amy I am threatening to sue for the damage inflicted on the dog", Luke informed her.

"Oh.", Amy's chirpiness had disappeared.

"Now, unless you want to settle outside of court, I prepared to go through with the", Luke rushed on.

"I'm sorry Mr. Danes, but I don't seem to understand what the problem. Paul Anka seemed to be fine, if a little subdued.

"I don't know what you did, but the dog is now traumatised, which is not good for his or my health," said Luke, "By the way what kibble did you feed him?"

"Aura, sir?" Amy's voice was beginning to waver, "I'm sorry if something went wrong. We can refund you the cost of your bill."

"Well, we specifically requested Pedigree. Honestly if you can't get that right. The bill refunded won't be enough to pay for the dog psychiatry sessions I'm going to have to pay for," said Luke, if a little harshly.

Suddenly Amy burst into tears, "I'm sorry Mr. Danes. A note wasn't made. And I've just had to fire one of the girls for man handling a cat. And with this, it might just shut down the kennels. I don't think I could handle it. It's been in my family for generations, Oh God! What will Uncle Bert say?!"

"Ok, ok calm down Amy", Luke was seriously out of his depth. He could not deal with emotional women. That's why he was doing this after all.

"It's just everything's falling apart. This case might actually finish me off", cried Amy down the phone.

"Look why don't I just take the refund of the bill", asked Luke desperately trying to calm the now hysterical Amy.

Twenty minutes later Luke finally got off the phone, having had the kennel bill refunded and gotten Amy back to some sense of calmness.

* * *

That night Lorelai and Luke had a date. It was here Luke decided to tell Lorelai that he had got her money back.

"You didn't upset the poor girl did you?", asked Lorelai full of concern.

"I'm sorry, what now?", asked Luke incredulously.

"Well you can be kind of harsh sometimes. You didn't upset her trying to get her money. You didn't make her an offer she couldn't refuse?", Lorelai elaborated.

"Well I explained what had happened. I told her about Paul Anka's lack of interest in shoes. Although a couple of tears might have been shed…", Luke petered out as he saw the look on Lorelai's face.

"Luke Danes! How could you? I can't take that money now. It's dirty money," exclaimed Lorelai with a look of horror on her face.

Luke stared at her in disbelief. She has to be kidding. After all that, honestly, WOMEN!


End file.
